Balancing our beliefs and desires is an ever acting characteristic in a humans life, we strive do this all the time.
As men, we all find ourselves struggling from time to time with our urges and our faith. Here you can gain some perspective of fitting these two together.
It is natural to want to stay true to what we believe in. And for most Christian men, it is important that love occur within the boundaries of church.
Sex during marriage only is one of those boundaries.
Whether we follow it or not, there are validities of free will choices at work here and it is not for us to judge this belief.
Ancient legends tell us that when we partake of sex with one another, a part of their soul lingers with ours and we carry that piece of soul around with us for the rest of our lives.
Keeping your virginity for your wife is a wise choice since this is true in some respects.
This can present a challenge for men who strive to remain strong in their faith.
There are a few perspectives to consider when you wish to continue attracting women and then foster your relationship while awaiting the consummation of marriage.
After all - sex is important! Getting married to someone who's sexually incompatible with you can be a very difficult union to be in.
These few outlooks are especially for men who face the challenge of mixing faith and romance.
1. Refine your beliefs
Keep in mind that things will be easier when you clarify your beliefs, since it is your faith, which guides you through your life.
God gave us free will and the ability to think and reason. It is up to us to look at all our options and decide what path to take. You may believe in some of what the Church teaches, but not all. Or, you may embrace all of the Church's teachings.
Your choice is your own; however, you must be clear of your belief and stand strong.
2. Trust in the plan God has for you.
Keep your faith that God has a plan for you and the woman you are meant to be with when the two of you are united.
Keep in mind, you have to do your part too, since there is only so much that he can do. You have free will and must take action to capture the opportunities presented to you.
To find the right woman for you, you must be proactive.
Going out and meeting women, taking them on dates, getting to know them - this is not just stuff that happens. We have to MAKE it happen. And it is our actions which keep us on the path
God has set out for us, because our actions are based on what we believe.
3. Know that Virginity is not mystical or precious.
Many people have a notion that virginity is something to be prized, but it really isn't. Sex is just an act. It's just like breathing, or walking, or exercising. It is something we do.
Gods intention is for man to be fruitful and multiply, this means sex. It is one of the greatest gifts from God; his intention is for us to have sex, this is why sex is pleasurable.
Virginity maybe a sacred in some respects, however the way we think about it is confusing. Virginity is meant to be lost, the challenge however, in in finding the right person to whom with to share it.
In the end, there is a spiritual aspect to sex. It's the aspect that you find someone who makes you feel whole, alive, and loved. This is something separate from the act of sex, because this touches you on a deeper level.
Striving to achieve this type of intimacy helps you determine if the physical aspects are in tune also.
Do not be afraid to be intimate with women! Kissing, hugging, touching - this is all fine. But sharing your hopes and dreams, staring deep into her eyes and feeling her inner-most desires... that is where true intimacy stems from.
4. Women are real and do not belong on a pedestal.
When you place too much importance on blending sex and faith, you may find yourself inflating the importance of a woman.
You might see her as a delicate flower, or a goddess, or something that needs to be cherished and treated special.
Keep in mind that in many ways men and women are alike. We all come from the same place.
You should never put a woman on a pedestal simply because you find her sexually attractive.
This is not the same as having respect for her.
It is easy to love an ideal. But it is hard to love the reality. The woman who gets awnry when she's hungry, the woman who nags you about taking out the garbage, the woman who wakes up in the morning with bad breath - that is the reality.
We have to learn to love the reality of women, and not idealize them. Realize that sex is just one aspect to the females of our species. And that being human, we all share similar traits.
When we see girls as people, just like us, we are able to get a clearer picture of whether or not we are meant to be with them.
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