Top 10 Things You Don't Want To Hear On A First Date

Top 10 Things You Don't Want To Hear On A First Date

1. Because he’s cold blooded, my iguana likes to sleep with me.
2. Let ‘s see: duct tape, handcuffs, syringe. OK, I’m ready.
3. So, how many time have you remarried the same person?
4. My last lover wore earplugs in bed.
5. I think goat’s blood is the perfect aphrodisiac, don’t you?
6. My therapist agreed that your classified ad describes just what I need at this stagein my treatment.
7. Are you allergic to penicillin?
8. You’ll never guess where I got pierced last week. Wanna see?
9. Don’t worry. I put extra creme on my rash just for you.
10. Exactly what do you mean by “unusually large”?

 

Top 10 Things It’s Not OK to Do While Making Love

1. Stop breathing, suspend your pulse, lower your body temperature, & become totally unresponsive
2. insist hot tar is a legitimate prop.
3. shout out your parents’ name during orgasm.
4. ispire stigmata in your partner
5. channel Rasputin or Catherine the Great
6. lose bowel control
7. cry uncontrollably
8. speak in tongues and/or handle snakes
9. vomit under any circumstances
10. use wimpering and whining as pillow talk.